Have You Successfully Used the Four Tendencies at Home, in Work, in Life? I’d Love to Share Your Story.

As I’ve explored happiness, good habits, and human nature — and especially in the context of my Four Tendencies framework — I’ve found that we really learn from hearing other people’s stories and examples.

For this reason, the book The Four Tendencies is crammed with actual examples from real people.  (In fact, I was so fascinated by these examples that the early drafts of this book were gigantically long — at one point it was almost twice as long as it is in its final form. I just couldn’t resist adding example after example after example. Finally I managed to include only the most interesting and representative ones.)

The fact is, we can all learn from each other. Obligers hear about ingenious ways to create crucial outer accountability. Rebels learn how to harness the power of a to-do list in a way that doesn’t ignite their Rebel spirit of resistance. Questioners finally get insight into why their stream of questions (and often, their reluctance to answer others’ questions) sometimes drains and overwhelms others. Upholders see how to avoid the choking grip of tightening. And so on.

So I would love to hear your stories. If you’ve successfully put the Four Tendencies to use — at work, in a relationship, with a child, in a health-care setting — I’d love to get your short video story. And I’d love to highlight it, so that others can learn from you.

If you’re game, please share your short video using the  #FourTendenciesStory hashtag, and tagging me @gretchenrubin on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. I’m especially looking for short videos I can share. After you create your video, post it on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, wherever you prefer, and tag me. And then email the link to info@gretchenrubin.com.

Maybe the Four Tendencies framework has given you insight into yourself, so you’ve been able to achieve an aim that had previously frustrated you.

Or maybe the Four Tendencies framework has allowed you to work more effectively with other people, by allowing you a new way to understand their perspectives.

I can’t wait to hear your stories!

Over on the “Better” app, which is my free app that’s all about the Four Tendencies, I can hardly tear myself away from reading people’s comments and questions. It’s so fascinating to see how the Four Tendencies play out.

Side note: one thing that surprises me is how obvious the Four Tendencies are. Once you know this framework, it’s quite easy to spot the Four Tendencies in the world. How is it possible that I’m the first person in history to notice this model? Because truly, once you know about it, you see Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels all around you. It’s not a subtle thing. (Don’t know your Tendency? Take the quiz here.)

So if you have the time and the inclination, if you want to help other people to learn and to manage their lives more effectively, if you feel like putting your story out into the world, and if you’d like to help me out, please post your video story. It’s a big help, and I really appreciate it. But only if you feel like it, of course. Up to you.

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