On Radical Change

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Self Confidence Feeds

The 7 Best Blogs on Happiness

You're reading The 7 Best Blogs on Happiness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Happiness is a mental state that is indefinite by the fact that it is fleeting emotion. When we feel it, we attempt to hold on to it and tend to feel worse once it inevitably ends. That is why it may be time to examine what happiness essentially is and how one can actually cultivate it in order to experience it more often. Surprisingly, scientific studies show that happiness is more about feeling balanced than it is about feeling the ‘highs’ of excitement. Here are 7 blogs that clarify happiness so you can focus on feeling it:

1. This blog focuses on the ‘triangle of stability’ that comprises of 3 factors, Time, Status and Emotion. Time being the present moment that includes the history of your past success and defeats. Status is our real and unseen potential, that gives us a direction to drive our actions. Emotion is the attitude for which we reflect ourselves to others, essentially determining our happiness.

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2. This is a great blog that lays out opinions in a very straightforward way. Mark Manson believes that although someone may be responsible for a circumstance or predicament that affects you, nobody can be responsible for your happiness as you are in the driver’s seat when it comes to how you decide to perceive and react to things. ,

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3. Simple as it gets, and so easy to achieve, You wanna be happy? Move! All it takes is a little exercise to boost your mood and happiness instantly.

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4. The Dysfunctional Attitude Scale’ is a fun game to play and in this blog, we are given the instructions. The author posits that we must challenge our thoughts and not always trust their truth or validity particularly if we are feeling emotional, they can cause irrationality.

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5. This blog focuses on ridding our minds of the limiting belief that we only have one true calling in life. This belief can be so ingrained in us since childhood that it will cause anxiety and unhappiness. It is accurate that many people have potential in several areas of life, and can switch gears to numerous careers or simply include all their interests into one career. The ‘multi-potentialite’ is born, which should not be perceived as ‘indecisive and non-committal’ but ‘innovative and original.’

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6. This author uses the idea of relativity to help us get back on track after a major setback in life. No more looking at the big picture, this can be overwhelming at times, the key is to start small and begin to perceive your circumstance as surmountable, especially as compared to others who may have it much harder. Relativity helps us minimize self pity and regain control of our lives by focusing on what we have to be grateful for.

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7. This article introduces one to the ‘conscious aging’ movement. It is a strong mindset that can alleviate anxiety and increase happiness as we age toward our retirement years or even if we are already there. The practices of exercise, driving and socializing do wonders as activities that maintain self esteem and overall well being. As well, the issue of healthcare avoidance is addressed, which is very important in feeling your ailments will be taken care of now and in the future as you age.

http://ift.tt/2c7GizP Happiness is really about tapping into your potential to control your own perspective. If we can increase the quality of our consciousness, all of our personal development will be funneled in the right direction. To be happy can sometimes come from our genetic disposition, which is out of our control, however, more often than not, it is in our power to perceive accurately what is our reality. Happiness is reality, that’s certainly one way to look at it! Do you read a great blog about happiness that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB! Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she's developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.

You've read The 7 Best Blogs on Happiness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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Revealed! February Book Club: Keys to Good Design, a Personality Quiz, and High Fantasy.

Because nothing boosts happiness more than a great book, each month, I suggest:

— one outstanding book about happiness or habits

— one outstanding work of children’s or young-adult literature–I have a crazy passion for kidlit

— one eccentric pick–a widely admired and excellent book that I love, yes, but one that may not appeal to everyone

Shop at IndieBound, BN.com, or Amazon (I’m an affiliate), or your favorite local bookstore. Or my favorite, visit the library!

For all the books I choose, I love them; I’ve read most of them at least twice if not many times; and they’re widely admired.

Bonus book this month: with Shea Olsen, my sister Elizabeth Craft has a new young-adult novel, Flower. The tag line? “She had a plan, then she met him.” Romance, temptation, secrets, college applications, celebrity...Check it out.

Now, for the three book-club choices. Drumroll…

A book about happiness, good habits, or human nature:

 

The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People by Elizabeth Wagele

On episode 99 of the Happier podcast, my sister Elizabeth and I discussed the “Try This at Home” of taking personality quizzes. The Enneagram isn’t a scientific way to understand personality, but many people find it to be an illuminating framework. To my mind, that’s the chief benefit of a personality quiz: whether it helps us glimpse into our own nature. Sometimes it’s hard to look directly in the mirror, and something like a personality quiz can help us see ourselves indirectly.

Buy from IndieBound; BN.com; Amazon.

 

An outstanding children’s book:

The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

I was astonished to realize that I’ve never suggested the Tolkien books as my kidlit choice (though arguably they aren’t children’s books). These are towering classics of world literature. The Fellowship of the Ring is the first in a trilogy called “The Lord of the Rings,” and while The Hobbit isn’t part of the official trilogy, and is very different in tone, it’s quite related to the high fantasy epic that unfolds. These books are unlike anything else. Read the books even if you’ve seen the movies; as always, movies can’t capture so much that’s wonderful about books. For instance, one of my favorite characters, Tom Bombadil, doesn’t appear in the movies.

Buy from IndieBound; BN.com; Amazon.

 

An eccentric pick:

The Pocket Universal Principles of Design: 150 Essential Tools for Architects, Artists, Designers, Developers, Engineers, Inventors, and Makers by William Lidwell.

This is an absorbing, fascinating, accessible book. Each page has a very succinct description of a design principle, with a fascinating example on the facing page. I loved reading this book because it made me realize why certain designs in the world around me worked well — or didn’t work. It’s so fun to know about design principles like “Back-of-the-Dresser,” “Defensible Space,” “Figure-Ground,” and the “Dunning-Kruger Effect.” These may sound dry, but they’re fascinating.

Buy from IndieBound; BN.com; Amazon.

 

If you want to make sure you never miss a month’s selections, sign up here for the book club newsletter.

Remember, if you want to see what I read each week, I post a photo of my pile of completed books on my Facebook Page every Sunday night, #GretchenRubinReads.

I just went to the library a few days ago — my reading stack is huge. What book are you most excited to read next?

The post Revealed! February Book Club: Keys to Good Design, a Personality Quiz, and High Fantasy. appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.

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February challenge

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Well, it seems I spoke too soon about this new medication working. I had a terrible day yesterday. It's still only been three weeks since I started taking it, but after this weekend and yesterday, I'm not so sure it's doing anything. I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor on the 9th, so we can figure out what to do then.

It's so weird how much my emotions can swing sometimes. I'm going to ask my doctor about testing my hormones and vitamins and things, too, just to make sure it's not something to do with that. I'm just SO ready to get out of this funk that's been going on since June!

I have managed to stay on track with my eating, though.
Read more »

Coffee and calories: How do your add-ins add up?

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New study finds that most coffee drinkers put sugar, cream, and other calorie-laden additives in their beverage, which may take its toll on the waistline.

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Someone told me I shouldn't talk politics because not all of my readers agree with me. This is my response.

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Millicent lost 74 pounds

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Transformation of the Day: Millicent lost 74 pounds. She recently finished a PhD in Special Education and it was the most stressful thing she’s ever done. The stress led to weight gain and she knew that change was neccessary to avoid a family history of diabetes. Check out how this AKA soror changed her life. My […]

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How to Achieve Any Goal In 5 Easy Steps

You're reading How to Achieve Any Goal In 5 Easy Steps, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

If you could achieve just one thing this year, what would it be? Whether you’re picturing yourself crossing the finish line of the London marathon, shaking hands with your boss after earning a huge promotion, or buying a one-way ticket to Australia, all of us dream of becoming a better, happier, healthier version of ourselves. Yet so often the goals we set seem so hopelessly impossible to achieve that we give up before we’ve even begun. It doesn’t have to be that way. We all have the power to change our lives for the better. Our goals defeat us not because we aren’t good enough, but because the methods we use to achieve them aren’t good enough. Try following these 5 simple steps, and this could be the year you finally become whoever you want to be.

Step One: Pick one goal.

Imagine that your fairy godmother rocked up this very moment and offered to grant you every wish you could think of. Chances are you’d reel off a v-e-r-y long list, because most of us have multiple ambitions and goals. Consequently, whenever we think about resolution-making, the temptation is to determine to tick everything at once. Unfortunately, in a world devoid of fairy-godmother magic, goals can only be achieved by working hard for them. Pile too much of that hard work on at once and you’ll become overwhelmed and quit. Remember that one success is better than multiple failures! Don’t fracture your focus: pick just one goal and devote all your energy to completing it.  

Step Two: Make success measurable.

Thought of your goal? Good. Does it sound anything like one of the following: “be healthier”, “be richer”, “be more organised”? If the answer is yes, then rip it up and head back to the drawing board. These are examples of bad goals. Bad goals are generic, subjective, and consequently almost impossible to achieve. Exactly how organised is organised enough? A good goal has an obvious, measurable end point. Think “I want to lose 3 stone” or “I want to save £5,000”. Not only is it clear what you’re aiming for, it’s also easy to track your progress. The single best motivator to push us over a finish line is to be able to see how far we’ve already come. If you’ve diligently racked up £4,990 you’re very likely to skip those last two pints and add the tenner to your savings account. If you’re entirely unsure how much more celery you need to munch down on before you become adequately “healthier” you’re much more likely to jack it all in at the first sight of a Twix.

Step Three: Break the goal into the smallest steps possible.

Most people’s goals are big, challenging and lifechanging. That’s what makes them exciting – you wouldn’t feel the same sense of achievement completing something you could knock off in half an hour tomorrow morning. But the problem is that when you measure the distance between your end goal and where you are today, the huge gap is incredibly disheartening. Luckily there is a simple solution; break your goal down into easily-completed chunks, and focus on completing just one chunk at a time. Every slob knows he can’t just roll out of bed one morning and run a marathon, so he considers it foolish to try. But if his immediate focus was to complete just half a mile, the fact that it appears achievable encourages him to go for it. By building up slowly, he becomes the champion runner he could never have imagined being when he began. Every time you find yourself struggling, make your goal steps smaller. Even moving a millimetre each day gets you further than if you never moved at all.

Step Four: Plan how you will achieve each step.

If you’ve followed Step Three and made you goal steps nice and easy the amount of planning involved should be minimal – but that doesn’t mean it can be neglected entirely! Most resolutions require tools to move forward: a gym membership, a foreign language dictionary, a savings account etc. Make sure you’ve got everything you need set up and ready to go so that when you have a burst of motivation you won’t be hampered by any annoying necessities blocking your way.

Step Five: Get going!

By this point, you should know exactly what you’re going to do and exactly how you’re going to do it. All that’s left is to get out and get going! Prepare yourself for experiencing some inevitable slipups. They happen to everyone; the trick is to see them for the temporary setback they are and not get disheartened. It’s always okay to revert back a step if you need to. All you have to do is to keep moving, keep trying, and you can achieve anything you set your mind on.

---

Beth Leslie writes graduate careers advice for Inspiring Interns. They specialise in matching candidates to their dream internship. Check out their graduate jobs listings for roles.

You've read How to Achieve Any Goal In 5 Easy Steps, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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LIAM 313 – Success Principle: Purpose

So, that thing you just did, did you do it on purpose? I hope so. One of the things successful people consistently do is this: they have a purpose for everything they do! The word “purpose” means: “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” Many people are simply going through the motions of life or are simply reacting to situations and other influences without much forethought as to the reason for doing what they do or thinking what they think. You should have a clear purpose, a “why,” for all of your goals, all of your activities, and all of your decisions. It’s one thing to know what you want. It’s another thing to know why you want it, what you will do with it, how it will enhance your life and the lives of others. Listen as I explain:

Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here:

Love the show? Click here to Tweet a shoutout!

Want to sponsor episodes of the LIAM podcast? Click here.

Mentioned in this show:

• Join Bruce’s Mastermind Group
• Worry No More! book
• Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living
• LIAM Team Life Coaching Community

Subscription/Social Links:

• Subscribe on iTunes!
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• LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262
• LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon
• Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List
• www.BruceVanHorn.com
• Bruce Van Horn on Twitter
• Bruce Van Horn on Facebook

   

The post LIAM 313 – Success Principle: Purpose appeared first on Life Is A Marathon : Life Coaching | Self-Esteem | Personal Development | Personal Branding | Positive Thinking | Community.

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Triple Berry Beet Smoothie Bowl

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Motivated Monday : Food Prep.

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I'm determined to get some abs, I've been killing it in the kitchen and in the gym. The harder I work the more motivated I am. Giving up sugar and alcohol was hard at first, but honestly the longer I stick to it the easier it is - we've had a box of TAG A LONGS in the house and I don't even want one. Not worth it to me right now. 

I've simplified my meals and it's been so great, I think less about food and stress less about what to eat. When I get tired of a meal, I just change it the next week. Planning is 100% necessary no matter your situation, even if you are home every day you need to plan ahead for success. 

I still spend 1-2 hours on a Sunday meal prepping.

I sleep in, get up and drink a cup of coffee while planning our meals. I clean out the fridge and pantry, see what we need, and make a grocery list. 

I swear we spend half our income on food, we eat 95% of our meals at home. I am pretty picky on brands we use, but making a list and sticking to it does help. What does NOT HELP is that the only jerky I love it 15 bucks. I tried the cheaper one, swear, but it sucked so hard.

I made these turkey meatballs last week - EVERYONE loved them so I put them in rotation again this week. Plus they were so easy to make ahead and just heat up with quinoa and tomato sauce for dinner on the go. 

I also have to prep double the chicken because Oliver is all truffle chicken. Still using the Truffle Rub from AllSpice.com  I cook my chicken at 425 with a electric meat thermometer until is says 165 degrees. 

I do not cut it until I use it for my lunch, that way it doesn't dry out.

I made this for dinner on Sunday night - it was fabulous!!! Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken with Sweet Potato. I'm lazy and did not cook the sweet potato in the oven, that takes way too long, so I peeled and boiled in chucks. Plus it's easier to weigh. The sauce on top is what really makes it, greek yogurt, blue cheese, milk, and vinegar. 

My favorite part of Sunday is around 6:30 when my food prep is done, my kitchen is clean, and I can go take a hot bath and watch Hulu until we go to bed. 

A Little Happier: “No Deposit, No Return.” Agree, Disagree?

I’m always looking for universal truths. And what I’ve found is that there are very few universal truths — not many things are true for everyone, all the time.

But one such iron law does seem to be: No deposit, no return.

We never get out of things more than we put into them.

Listen to this mini-podcast episode by clicking PLAY below.

 

Want to get in touch? I love hearing from listeners:

• Comment below
• Email us: podcast@gretchenrubin.com
• Connect on Twitter: @gretchenrubin and @elizabethcraft
• Call: (77 HAPPY 336)
  
• Comment on my Facebook Page
• Sign up to get an email alert whenever we release a new episode

 

Happier listening!

The post A Little Happier: “No Deposit, No Return.” Agree, Disagree? appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.

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10 Ways to Love Someone

Janae lost 121 pounds

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Transformation of the Day: Janae lost 121 pounds. Working full time, going to Law School and a lack of sleep, created a lifestyle that led to rapid weight gain. After years of trying differnt methods to lose weight, a co-worker’s success inspired her to try something different. Now, she is commited to fitness and helping […]

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8 Tips to Deal with Difficult and Rude People

You're reading 8 Tips to Deal with Difficult and Rude People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

People are awesome... That is when you are making friends, socializing, and having a great time. The spoiler in this otherwise perfect scenario are those rude people you have to deal with in life. Sometimes we wish they'd disappear, but maturity is accepting someone for who they are while helping them become more. Remember the last time you were deciding on a place to hang out and one person had problems with every place. Or perhaps the time when a colleague was rude to you for no reason? All of us inevitably have to encounter rude and difficult people. Knowing how to do with these people frees your attention from the inevitable aftermath of worry that follows when you encounter rudeness. Relax and take a sigh of relief for here are eight tips to dealing you out in the next debacle.

Tip #1: Keep your temper

The quickest way to lose control of a situation is to lose your cool round difficult people. By letting your anger get the better of you, you indirectly validate their behavior. Give yourself a chance of working things out by remaining calm. I've found it helpful to keep an open perspective which gives people margin for error. Don't assume malice for possibility of error or even incompetence.

Tip #2: Be tactful but polite

The key to making others listen to is to tactfully put across your views all the while being polite. It is universally accepted that a polite person is heard over an impolite one because impoliteness triggers people to erect verbal and emotional walls. There is no quick, guaranteed way to ensure politeness. The simplest mind-hack I've found is to continually check in with yourself to see if you would treat the person you love most in your life, like you are right now with this difficult person. Use it to your advantage and make both the group and the rude elements listen to you.

Tip #3: Make your displeasure known

Address your issues with a difficult person and keep it between yourselves first unless you cannot resolve the issue. Gossip does not help. You have a responsibility to express your needs and expectations. Youe should not burst out at every trivial issue but there are healthy times to let your displeasure be known. You have a right to assert boundaries. Inform the concerned people separately what behaviour was uncalled for or hurt you. You may be surprised that if this is shared in a non-aggressive but direct manner, they may have no idea what they did and immediately apologize. Do it also privately.

Tip #4: Praise effort

Acknowledge and appreciate all efforts the other makes. It is the simplest and most effective way of encouraging someone. When you praise their effort, you provide encouragement and comfort in a difficult moment. You also solidify better rapport between you two to handle further difficult conversations.

Tip #5: Ensure proper communication

Wondering what proper communication means? It simply refers to your body language and responses. Simple pointers to take care of are maintaining eye contact with the person while talking (don't start staring people which is a trait of aggression) and during a telephonic conversation maintain verbal acknowledgements that you're listening "hmm mm". Giving proper responses may appear to be too trivial. However many a times things go haywire owing to basic gaps in respect and empathy. Let the person know whether you can understand him or not. Fundamentals are fundamental.

Tip #6: Have evidence to back your words

This is a sketchy tip that can work real well for some people. It can work poorly when you solely focus on the logic of the situation rather than the emotion. Use it wisely depending on the person and situation. The idea is to show him/her proof to back up your words. You could politely bring up documents to prove your words rather than enter into a heated match. Not that you have to start carrying a bulky proof folder every time you step out.

Tip #7: Be an example

I know the above sounds like a lesson in a preaching class, though they are effective measures to make others be nice to you. Concepts like leading by example, being always polite, or forgiving are very relevant and effective. Try these and you will find a marked difference in their treatment at least with you. Successful people are proactive in creating the life they want. You may not reform him or her, but your goal is to alter the way the person treats you.

Tip #8: Reduce your interaction time

It helps during conflict to notice your triggers then give yourself a cooling off period to think through the situation before jumping into it again. If every measure, every effort fails, then you are left with the option to reduce your interaction time as much as possible. Completely ignoring the person might not be possible if you have business with them. But then try to keep your conversations short and simple. Joshua Uebergang helps shy men show their awesomeness to others with better social skills. He is author of a short-guide to deal with difficult people at towerofpower.com.au.

You've read 8 Tips to Deal with Difficult and Rude People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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One of My Cures for Feeling Anxious? Think about My Favorite Churchill Quotations.

One of my most useful resolutions is to “Find an area of refuge.”

We all suffer from negativity bias, that is, we react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good.

Research shows one consequence of negativity bias is that when people’s thoughts wander, they tend to begin to brood. Anxious or angry thoughts capture our attention more effectively than happier thoughts.

And of course, we often have many difficult, upsetting, or worrying matters weighing on our minds.

If I feel myself struggling to calm my bad or anxious feelings, I seek a mental “area of refuge” for my mind.

Sometimes I look at photos of my family — research shows that reflecting on happy times in the past boosts happiness in the present.

Sometimes I think about my favorite scenes from books, movies, or TV shows. I often find myself thinking about classic funny scenes from The Office, for instance — like the time Jim wrapped Dwight’s desk in wrapping paper.

Most often, however, I reflect on my favorite quotations from Winston Churchill. When I was writing Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill, I collected a countless number of these — some funny, some sharp, some transcendent.

It’s impossible for me to choose my favorite, but this quotation is certainly one of my favorites. I’ve quoted it here before, but I can’t resist quoting it again.

In September 1940, Churchill gave one of his most memorable broadcasts — about the “Blitz,” the brutal nightly bombing of London.

I know the words practically by heart.

These cruel, wanton, indiscriminate bombings of London are, of course, a part of Hitler’s invasion plans. He hopes, by killing large numbers of civilians, and women and children, that he will terrorise and cow the people of this mighty imperial city, and make them a burden and anxiety to the Government…Little does he know the spirit of the British nation, or the tough fibre of the Londoners…who have been bred to value freedom far above their lives. This wicked man, the repository and embodiment of many forms of soul-destroying hatreds, this monstrous product of former wrongs and shame, has now resolved to try to break our famous Island race by a process of indiscriminate slaughter and destruction. What he has done is to kindle a fire in British hearts, here and all over the world, which will glow long after all traces of the conflagration he has caused in London have been removed.

My favorite line: “What he has done is to kindle a fire in British hearts, here and all over the world, which will glow long after all traces of the conflagration he has caused in London have been removed.”

If you want to listen to Churchill give his broadcast, you can listen here. The section I quote above begins at 7:43.

Ah, what a joy it was to write that book!

The post One of My Cures for Feeling Anxious? Think about My Favorite Churchill Quotations. appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.

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The Introvert’s Weekend: 6 Tips for Enjoying It Your Way

You're reading The Introvert’s Weekend: 6 Tips for Enjoying It Your Way, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“When you honor your body, mind and spirit you are saying to the universe, ‘I love you’” –Panache Desai Most of us look forward to the weekend. Whether it’s for sleeping in late, catching up with friends, spending time with family or enjoying the occasional getaway, the weekend breaks up the routine of the work week and reminds us that life is more than just toil. For those of us who are introverts, the weekend is especially valuable as a time for reclaiming the space and solitude we need to refill our energy tanks. Getting adequate rest is important for everyone, but as an introvert, I am biologically and physiologically wired to need not just lots of downtime, but lots of “me time.” Any introvert will tell you that scheduling “alone time” to replenish our energy after the rigors of the work week is not a luxury. If I don’t regularly return to my natural element of stillness, silence and solitude, I stop feeling like myself and literally cannot function.

Weekend guilt: Why introverts can have it bad

So many people complain that the weekend is too short, and many of us struggle with the pesky feeling that we’re wasting our weekends. Whenever I feel like the weekend has flown by before I could really enjoy it, it’s usually because I allowed the nagging impulse to do more and be more distract from my enjoyment of the present moment. Also, as an ambitious introvert, I can feel guilty and lost if I’m not in the process of pursuing some goal or the other, particularly when I finally have the solitude to do so. Yet doing nothing is a worthy goal in and of itself. Another reason weekends can feel inadequate is because, in a fast-paced world, resting isn’t valued as much as it should be, so when we rest we don’t feel the same sense of accomplishment or satisfaction as when we work. Introverts, who have a pronounced need for silence, stillness and reflection, can feel odd, embarrassed and out of place when, all around us, society expects and praises busyness. In fact, we’re often guilt-tripped by our more extroverted friends and family who are stimulated and socialize differently from us. Here are five tips for owning your weekends and feeling good about it.

1. Unplug

The weekend is the perfect time to make yourself unavailable to all but a few choice people. There is such a thing as being over-connected, a state in which we’re always “switched on” for the benefit of others, with a myriad of ever-shifting demands placed upon us. Switching off the television, radio, computer, and cell phone allows us to recoup from our lives of chronic engagement, multitasking and information overload, and get back to the calmer pace of pre-technology life. As an introvert, I use the Internet and text messaging to interact with the world with minimal drain on my energy. To avoid dependency and overuse, I have chosen to not join any social media platforms and I use a free time management app that limits my screen time. Research shows that too much technology use has adverse, wearying effects on the mind and body. Studies have documented the health benefits of unplugging for even a few hours, everything from better sleep and reduced muscle pain, to improved mood and concentration.

2. Under-schedule

For some of us, the weekend is the only time we have to do brunch with a friend, attend church, complete chores or volunteer. If you’re a non-social introvert who is actively trying to be more social, it can be tempting to fill up your weekends with extroverted activities and social engagements. While it’s practical and healthy to use the weekend to get things done and connect with people other than our co-workers, it’s also important to make sure our weekends aren’t hectic and over-scheduled. Most introverts prefer weekends to be low-key and leisurely, yet we still have a deep need to meaningfully connect with others. We can find ourselves struggling against societal norms that pressure us to approach weekend activities the way extroverts do. For example, I prefer to attend social events with a set beginning and ending time, but my more extroverted family and friends plan social events that are often improvised and can seemingly go on forever. I regularly have to remind myself that it’s okay to leave an event “early” even if I’m the only one doing so. The key is to remember that because of the way we’re wired, we have an extra need for solitude and require longer periods of mental and physical recuperation. Trust your body; it’s a better gauge for ensuring your health and sanity than social norms. Let go of the idea that you’re boring for not wanting to spend the entire night at a dance club, or that you’re somehow missing out on something if you accept your introverted preferences. Free time is anything but a waste of time; it’s actually an investment in our relationships since we’re best able to give to others, contribute to our communities and enjoy experiences when we’re energized. Remember, quality not quantity is what counts.

3. Meditate

Meditation is a gentle but powerful way to release tension and stress accumulated during the work week. I have discovered that getting in touch with and nurturing a connection with the present moment is key for accessing healing, self-acceptance and joy. We all have the capacity to experience this powerful awareness of “being-ness”, but this requires that we slow down and focus inward, something that us introverts know how to do very well. Mediating doesn’t have to mean sitting crossed-legged on a yoga mat with your eyes closed. You can meditate by listening to guided meditation audio while driving, doing meditative physical exercises like tai chi and qigong, or actively staying aware of your body and non-judgmentally observing your thoughts as you stroll through the park. What is most important is to find the form of meditation that feels freeing and comfortable for you.

4. Master self-care

The weekend is the perfect time to refocus on our bodies and shower our introverted souls with attention. The exertion required to interact with extroverted co-workers and function in overstimulating work environments can leave us tense, numb and physically drained. Also, many of us work in mentally demanding professions that keep us locked into the sphere of the mind and disconnected with the wisdom of our bodies. Introverts, who spend most of our time in our heads to begin with, can experience this mind-body disconnect more acutely. Taking long, hot showers, or relaxing in a mineral bath soak are great, effective ways to get back in touch with your body and reward yourself for challenging yourself all week. You can also try progressive muscle relaxation or treat yourself to a massage. Aromatherapy oils like lavender and juniper, and soft, soothing music also have positive, calming effects on the autonomic nervous system. I drink soothing herbal teas like chamomile, peppermint, lemon balm and kava teas that have been proven to aid physical relaxation. I own a bubble foot spa massager that I use ritualistically on weekends, and I make sure a significant part of my weekend is spent outside in nature, even if it just means sunbathing in my yard. Remember, self-care means different things to different people. An extrovert might care for herself by shopping in a busy mall, while an introvert who likes to shop might care for himself by shopping online. The key is to nurture your soul by doing something enjoyable that makes you feel healthy and happy, and that connects you to your authentic, sensual self. For introverts, activities like gardening, painting, crafts, baking, journaling, people-watching, yoga, swimming, cycling and dancing have relaxing effects and can be done alone or with just one other person.

5. Rest intentionally

It’s perfectly okay to keep your weekends sacred for solitude and rest. Rest as a spiritual principle is an age-old tradition evident in the existence of customs such as the Sabbath and the Spanish siesta. Rest doesn’t necessarily mean inactivity or sleeping; rather, rest is the mental and spiritual state of being in harmony with ourselves, the world and the divine. In this state, the soul is untethered from the pressures of life regardless of what we are doing. I’ve found that the more I embrace this spiritual heritage of rest, the more I open up to an authentic experience of life as an introvert deeply attuned to my true desires, natural habits and what I have to offer the world. If you’re an introvert, know that your need to rest and withdraw regularly is not a weakness. Rather, it’s a call to intentional living and an invitation to return to a wise equilibrium. It’s a chance to come home to yourself, and to find joy in the wonders of life that are often missed in a world of distraction.

6. Embrace your own path

Frank Sinatra famously sang “I did it my way.” So do it your way. Trust in the divine wisdom that made you exactly as you are for a reason. There really are no rules, so own your introverted weekends. Know that you are free to use this time on earth as you wish. As you veer off the beaten track of conventional weekend expectations, you’ll discover a vast freedom to experience life at your own pace, in your own beautiful way, in your own comfortable skin.

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Summer Edward is a writer, poet, educator, children's literature specialist and wellness advocate from Trinidad. She holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology and an M.S.Ed. degree in Reading, Writing, Literacy from the University of Pennsylvania and is the recipient of a Roothbert Fellowship awarded to people motivated in their life's work by spiritual values. She uses the expressive arts to advocate for mental health wellness, personal growth and a culture of healing. You can connect with her at her personal website: www.summeredward.com.

You've read The Introvert’s Weekend: 6 Tips for Enjoying It Your Way, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger

You're reading 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It takes so much energy to stay mad at someone. Making sure the person who did us wrong knows we’re mad at them by planning on being visibly angry in his or her presence is emotionally taxing. What about if you live with that person? That’s a lot of acting! Sounds pretty tiring, huh? Learning to forgive and move on takes less effort in the long run than holding on to anger does. But why do many of us still hold on to our anger?

1. It’s easy!

Negative experiences are easier to recall than good ones…unless they’re extraordinarily good. Think back to that time when you had an angry confrontation where someone did or said something hurtful to you. Did you get over it quickly? Did it take some time to get over it? Are you still not over it? It isn’t pleasant to think about the times when someone has treated us badly. I’m not suggesting anyone recall negative experiences to make them upset, but rather to show how easy it is to relive that bad moment and remember how it made us feel. All it takes is something small to trigger us and we’re suddenly right back in that moment.

2. It makes us feel safe

I know it sounds crazy, but staying angry can make you feel safe. Anger is one of the first emotions we experience from birth. When those angry cries are met with coddling, milk, and fresh diapers, we realize that crying gets us what we want. As adults, when we get irately angry, we stop thinking clearly and the rational part of our brain shuts down. There is no reasoning with us and no calming us down; just stay out of the way. When we are in that state, we can’t think clearly and we probably don’t want to – especially if someone did or said to us that hurt or disappointed us. Our anger saves us from having to admit we are hurt. That would make us feel vulnerable, unsafe. Nobody likes being around someone who is always angry, so people avoid us. It prevents the threat of having someone get close enough to us to try finding out why we’re angry. Keeping emotions bottled up makes us feel a lot safer emotionally than sharing them. We get exactly what we want.

3. It makes us feel powerful, in control

Some of us might get aggressive or even violent when we get angry. If we’re that upset, we might lack the words to express our anger in a more positive way. Sadly, this destructive behavior can make someone feel powerful. They were able to take this strong emotion and express it physically by destroying something (or someone). Just think. We actually have the power to destroy something. It can also make us feel in control. Only we can decide we are not too angry to talk to the person who hurt us. Even if he or she wants to move past it, they can’t get past it unless we do. We can make them feel guilty for hurting us for as long as we want. We have the upper hand in the relationship (if we can still have one after what they did or said).

4. It allows us to get sympathy from others

If we’re to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that it feels good when people notice us. I don’t mean making us the center of attention; that could be embarrassing if we aren’t feeling the best. When someone shows they have been thinking of us or noticed we haven’t been our normal self, it can make us feel really good. When someone asks, “What’s wrong,” we shrug and say, “Nothing,” knowing they’ll continue asking what’s wrong. This game of emotional cat and mouse gives us the attention we want. At least somebody cares enough not to simply go away when we say nothing is wrong. It shows they care, and we like that.

5. We don’t know how/don’t want to let go

We are creatures of habit. That means that if something good happens to us, we want it to keep happening. We develop superstitions and routines that we do all the time – sometimes without realizing we do them. All we know is that we’re mad and ignoring the problem definitely is not the right answer, but we may not know where to begin to properly address it. If being angry with people for a long time has become our pattern and we’re able to manipulate the situation until we get what we want it must be working for us! Why change anything? We might not even want to let go of our anger. The best way to let go of anger is to first identify where it comes from and then take active steps to resolve it. That also requires some work and a whole lot of honesty. Here’s to releasing ourselves from our anger!

You've read 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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Friday Favorites: Beauty.

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Time to update on my favorite beauty products! I'm such a beauty product junkie, ever since high school and I dyed my hair every color and wore silver lipstick thinking I was so cool. Those 5 years I worked for Ulta were the best - new products every week! 

Cleaning: I absolutely love love love this balm, Take Off the Day Balm. It feels so luxurious on my skin, the Take the Day Off Cleansing Towelettes I use for my eye and lip makeup.  The Clarisonic Mia I use after I put on the balm, it's really gets deep to remove all the makeup.

I go back and forth between these two foundations, both have great coverage and lasting power. The Hourglass is great for drier skin, the Becca is better for oily/combo skin.

I use the Boo-Boo Cover-Up Concealer under my eyes to brighten, it's something I found in my Ipsy bag - which I still have listed as my #1 subscription bag. I like a light finishing powder, nothing heavy, and my sister recommended the It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Poreless Finish.

Spray tan fades fast from my face, theBalm Betty-Lou Manizer fixes my life on those days. If I could only live on two make up items it would be blush and lipstick, this NARS Orgasm Blush is a gorgeous soft color for every day use.

100% best eyeshadow kit ever, I just love a good matte shadow, I use every single color in here. Too Faced Natural Matte Palette

I've long been on a hunt for great eyeliner, I have a hard time getting close to my lash line because of my lash extension, but this liquid liner has a fabulous tilting handle for easy application.

I've become addicted to my LipSense lipstick - I talked before about how much I hated it the first time I tried it. Then I tried again and actually followed the directions.

My favorite colors are Bombshell {a great pink nude}, Rose Ice {frosty light pink}, and Caramel Apple {darker pinky plum}. I recently started carrying theses over at Ollie Mare, if you'd like help finding your perfect color you can email me {a selfie!} at olliemarieboutique@gmail.com

My recent hair color and cut is probably my favorite, but then again I love to change my hair pretty often LOL I've been digging it blowed out straight with a blow dryer and large round brush.

I switched my Pureology to this Redken Volume High Rise Shampoo & Conditioner, I like the volume it gives me without drying my hair.

On day 3 hair I like to take my Nume and curl it a bit, then fluff the crap out.

The Aquage is an old fav, but this Dirty Dry Wax Spray, stuff is pretty amazing, perfect amount of texture. Plus I feel like it lasts all day in my hair, I can re-poof as needed.

That's a wrap. Also be sure to stop by and check out my favorite faith based fitness shirts from Fit Darlings!